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SOFTWARE ENGINEER and COMPANY TRANSPORT

For most of the software engineers, irrespective of their designation, salary package and sex have commuted in company’s cab or bus (company transportation). You must be wondering, what is so significant about these travels, people across the globe do that. The remarkable things that make these journeys so interesting are the way software professionals conduct themselves during these bus rides. The range of activities that are performed on these travels is worth taking notice of.

Designated pick up points are where this journey starts. Catering to prayers and wishes for reaching these points on time is one of the most important activity that keeps our almighty occupied early in the morning. The amount of traffic these prayers generate can easily bring down any powerful server. For the winners, I mean those who manage to reach the pickup points on time, the joy is boundless. This feeling of victory can certainly dwarf the feeling that you get after coming first in NAT GEO’s Amazing race.


The scene at these pickup points, though short lived is quiet interesting. You can find software professionals forming small groups and talking among themselves. The group formation is basically determined by the number of years of experience one has (birds of same feather flock together).Group comprising of senior professionals usually talk about the news paper headlines, politics and state of country’s economy. The passion and authority with which they talk can give finance ministers a run for money. The group comprising of younger breed (often addressed as SE’s and SSE’s) are very consistent about the topic of discussion every single day. With great fervor and passion, invariably they indulge in mass vocal molestation of their supervisors. The range of people falling under this category of supervisor varies from immediate supervisors to even the CEO. All these activities come to an abrupt end at the first sight of approaching company’s bus. The diffusion of the feeling of togetherness that these groups share as the bus approaches still perplexes the elite group of gentlemen studying human behavior. This phenomenon can be compared to an intense love making coming to an abrupt end because of a premature ejaculation.


The moment you step inside the bus, quest for most convenient and strategically important seat begins. If the bus is empty when you board it, it becomes all the more confusing to decide on where to sit. A strange feeling of un-touchablity prevails inside the bus. Everyone prefers to sit alone (as long as they can). Seat selection process is quiet interesting to watch. Factors influencing this process is thought provoking. Being software professional and constant fiddling with codes helps us make this selection process a little simpler. We software engineers have a tendency to solve any problem (popularly known as issues in software world) with the help of algorithms. The moment we board the bus, our super processor BRAIN executes thousands of algorithms and comes up with the co-ordinates of a seat that best suits your requirements or rather desires.

Those who want to quickly get down after reaching office prefer the front seats. Guys bearing “LIFE IS A DRAG. DEFICIENCY OF VITAMIN FUN” looks on their face, occupy any available seat without much thoughts. The ever enthusiast young SE’s and SSE’s, fight it out for the rear seats. Professionals who peep out the window with fresh air on their face and gazing through the streets with an oblivion look prefer window seats. But their supply of fresh air is cut short by the ladies if they get the slightest hint of “BAD HAIR DAY” syndrome.

Selection process for strategically important seats is awe-inspiring. These are those much coveted seats, which are occupied by software professional every single day with just one hope that they get to sit with someone very beautiful and attractive person of opposite gender. (The male dominated part of my brain wanted me to replace the phrase “person of opposite gender” with the word DAMSEL. But these feelings were suppresses brutally by my strong adherence to the principle of Gender equality. ---“Hope my wife is reading this.”). Those boarding the bus at a later stage transform their eyes into an efficient laser target finder, if the seats are available, they lock their desired beautiful prey and occupy that seat without wasting a single second. For professionals boarding the bus at the initial part of journey, this task is little difficult and complex. Like true stock market professional, they analyze tones and tones of history data (these data comprise of seating patterns followed by person of their dreams), apply all theories of probability and forecasting and decide on a seat that has the highest probability of the person of your desire to come share the same seat you are in.

During this bus journey, you will find some avid newspaper readers. They valiantly fight out the adversities like lack of space to spread open the newspaper and strong wind. They munch on every possible news that the benevolent paper has to offer. Those news paper enthusiasts who take pride in “not spending a penny but still managing to read news paper” display great improvisation to achieve this. They devise and display prime adaptability and flexibility in their body posture, so that they can read from their neighbor’s paper with later having no hint about it. Book readers do not display any interesting characteristics apart from the skill to stick on the same page through the entire journey.

As always, the fairer sex indulges in what they do the best “GROOMING THEMSELVES”. In spite of the adverse terrain (the ever shaking and jumping bus) they are able to draw perfect colorful lines over their sensuous and curvy body part glorified by the ever beautiful Angeline Jolie( in short, their lips). It’s a delight to watch then accentuate their deep, gorgeous, men killing devise called “eyes” with black colored pencils ( when it comes to admiring women’s beauty, the turf gets a little slippery for me and more often than not, I get carried away). For love birds, this is the only time to rejuvenate their love life. All fresh and bubbling with high levels of energy early in the morning, they make the most out of this journey. Good moments spent during these rides are their defenses that they erect to fight out the miserable life they are have to experience once they reach office.

The activity in which majority of these software engineers indulge during this ride is sleeping. Quick naps taken during these rides helps them to abate the phenomena of “SLEEP DEPRIVATION” that becomes an indispensible part of you once you become a software engineer. They have mastered the art of sleeping in ever jolting bus so well, that five minutes into the ride and their head gives up to the gravitational force.
Hey friends the destination “COMPANY” has arrived. Need to get down the bus and start my day at office. HAPPY READING.